Must this Juliet be headed toward tragedy?

DEAR AMY: My daughter, a senior in high school, has fallen madly in love with a boy in her class. The feeling is mutual. The level of intensity makes Romeo and Juliet look like amateurs. They are never apart, and she has emotionally cut herself off from the rest of the family. I am indifferent to the boy, and get along with him just fine, though I am not thrilled about where this is headed. He has been accepted to a college out West. We live in the South. My daughter has decided that rather than go to college, she is moving out West with him and will get a job, set up house and live happily ever after. Her father and I are distraught but feel that if we try and stop this she will go anyway and turn her back on us for good. She has no work experience, is an immature 17-year-old and will not even consider other options. Before this romance we had a great relationship, but now she barely even speaks to us. Should we just let her go and find out for herself the hard way? Help!

--Anguished Mom

DEAR MOM: Don't be indifferent to the boy. Get to know him as well as you possibly can. I suggest you force yourself toward this relationship to keep the door open.

You and your husband should have a meeting with the two of them. Ask them to outline their plans. Listen carefully. No scowling. Say, "Juliet, you know we don't like the idea of your not going to college and moving so far away. We are very worried you won't be able to support yourself. But it's your life, and we understand that." You may be able to persuade your daughter to take a year's deferment from college (rather than walk away altogether) or to enroll at school out West.

Be clear that you won't finance this junket (other than to make sure she has a working phone).

This relationship may not even survive to next fall, but if she does leave home you want to make sure your door remains open.