New baby has 5-year-old acting up

DEAR AMY: I am a young mother. My son is 5 and my daughter is a month old. I have tried very hard to balance my time and attention between my kids. I even take special time aside for my son with just the two of us -- but he still acts up. He argues with me and frequently doesn't listen. My son did not act up like this before my daughter was born. I know he is 5 and adjusting to having a new sibling but do you have any tips on how to give him the attention he needs so he won't act out as much?

New MomDEAR MOM: You and your son are both adjusting to this new baby. Just now, give him lots of positive reinforcement, reasonable limits and little "jobs" to do so he can feel in charge and important.

Now that spring is here, playing on a peewee soccer team or trying T-ball might give him an opportunity to get out his wiggles -- and give you an excuse to cheer him on.

Catch him being "good" more often than you correct him. Don't insist he "love" the baby all the time, but do insist he be respectful and careful around her.

When he's naughty, saying, "Honey, I don't like that, so I'm waiting patiently until you settle down" will put him on notice that you see what he's doing, you're not happy about it, but it's not going to rile you.

I recommend the book "I'm a Big Brother" by Joanna Cole (2010 HarperFestival) for you and your son to read together.

DEAR AMY: "Torn" wondered if she should break up with her boyfriend now -- or in three months, when he is moving to another city. I liked your admonition that there is no real guarantee that a breakup will be easy, no matter when it happens. Sometimes you just have to rip that bandage off and put up with the howls.Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: If breakups were easy, then everyone would do them well.