Figueroa-Levin: On the Upper West Side, a tale of two entrances

Recently there's been some controversy about a proposed building arrangement on the Upper West Side that separates the rich people paying market rate for their apartments from the poor (by comparison) people living in designated affordable housing.

The affordable-housing residents would only live on certain floors, have a different building management company and even a separate entrance on the opposite side of the building from their rich neighbors. It's a tale of two entrances.

What a brilliant idea.

The people who need affordable housing shouldn't be subjected to the nonsense of self-important wealthy people. Rich people like to complain about everything. A delivery man had the audacity to use the front entrance? Complain. A dog walker brought dogs in the elevator? Complain. The porters are talking to each other in the courtyard in the middle of the day? Complain. You mopped your floor and the smell of the cleaner was detected in the hallway? Complain. Kids drew chalk pictures on the sidewalk? Complain.

Rich people need their own separate management company just to handle all the complaints they have about every single little thing. Due to the gentrification of my neighborhood, Inwood, I have some neighbors like this. I would give anything to have a separate entrance from them.

Many rich people -- especially the kind who drop millions on apartments -- apparently can't even figure out how to open doors for themselves. They hire men to do it for them.

And forget about doors, these folks actually need people to handle the buzzers. Here's how visitors announce themselves in my building: They buzz, I say who is it, they say who it is. If I want to let them up, I push a button on my wall. The end. Sure I can pay a guy to call me up and tell me who's downstairs, but I can use my ears for free.

I wouldn't feel comfortable living in a building full of people who can't bring themselves to use their ears. I don't want to damage their precious self-esteem by making them feel inadequate next to my mad door skills.

So please, have separate entrances, management companies and floors. These hardworking middle- class families don't deserve the headaches of living with rich people.

Rachel Figueroa-Levin tweets as @Jewyorican, @EveryGentrifier and @ElBloombito.