No need to put up with boyfriend's roomies

DEAR AMY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for just more than a year. We each live with several housemates. My boyfriend comes over to my place nearly every day. As a result, he has gotten to know my housemates very well. But in the last several months, I haven't set foot in his house for more than a few minutes at a time. I don't click with his roommates. And it's not just that we don't get along; they are rude to me.

One roommate completely ignores me, won't make eye contact and doesn't respond when I say hello. They complain about me in front of me. On several occasions, I have been sitting on the living room couch when one of them will decide to pop in a porn movie and start watching it when I'm there! I don't know what to do. I suspect they're resentful of me for "taking" my boyfriend away from them. I understand that it's important to my boyfriend that I spend time with his housemates. After all, it's important to me that he spends time with mine. Because he is at my place so often, he insists I should reciprocate and come to his place. I don't want to surround myself with people who are unfriendly and hostile. What do you think? Is it acceptable that I don't go over there?Uncomfortable

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: At some point, you should start to wonder about the man you are choosing to spend so much time with. He either doesn't have very good taste in people, is too immature to stand up to his buddies when they bully you - or doesn't see this lack of basic respect as a problem.

The antagonism these men display toward you is juvenile bullying. Because the atmosphere in the home is toxic, your guy could help you all by organizing an outing, perhaps to a ballgame.

If he wants to spend time at his home with his buddies, he should definitely do so - but on these evenings, tell him you'll happily find something else to do.