Oh, how I hate to get up in the morning

DEAR AMY: I am living with the man I expect to marry, and we have a wonderful relationship. His folks live in another city, and when they come to visit (about three times a year), they stay in our guest room. We enjoy their company, but there is one problem. I work a full-time job and have a long commute. On the weekends, I like to sleep in. If no one bothers me, I sleep until 11 a.m. or noon. When they come to visit, I try to get up earlier - like around 9:30 or 10. This does not sit well with my future mother-in-law. She will get up early and start grinding coffee beans, knock on our door or turn on the washing machine right outside our bedroom. I'm nearly 40. This is my home, and this is driving me crazy. My boyfriend pretty much reverts to the "child" role when his mom is around. He doesn't want to rock the boat, so he dutifully gets up at her beckoning. Is it OK for me to sleep in? Should I say something to her?

--Grumpy Without My Winks

DEAR GRUMPY: My personal take is that unless you work a swing shift, you should be able to drag your carcass out of bed by 9 a.m. when you have houseguests.

But you're right: It's your house and you have a legitimate claim to your privacy; sleep qualifies. It is rude of your guest to intentionally bang around in the morning.

Take this issue out of the realm of passive aggression and say to your future mother-in-law, "The coffee pot is all set up for morning, and breakfast food is ready in the fridge. Can you manage on your own until 9:30? I really do need to sleep until then."

DEAR AMY: "Reluctant" said he doesn't feel comfortable making love to his wife while visiting friends as houseguests. I say, "Spice it up!" I've been happily married for almost 60 years, and there is a good reason. My spouse and I know how to take advantage of opportunities.

Happy Man