Old man, give wife a chance in flannel

DEAR AMY: You answered a letter from "Distraught" stating your opposition to pornography. You stated among other things that pornography "desensitizes" people to actual physical encounters. I, like millions of older men, view porn online, and I'm not desensitized. I'm frustrated because my wife, like millions of other wives, has let herself go and is no longer interested in sex. Maybe Distraught needs to become more affectionate and try to wear something sexy to get her husband interested. We know our wives are not 20, 30 or even 40 anymore, but we still love them. We've put on weight and don't look the same as we did 30 or 40 years ago, either, but we still want to be intimate with our wives. I've been married for almost 40 years. We have not been intimate in more than 15 years. I have bought my wife many sexy teddies and other lingerie, only to be told that she didn't like wearing that kind of stuff and that these things wouldn't fit her. I bought her plus-size teddies, but she has never worn them. She never wears anything even slightly sexy. "Distraught" needs to look in her mirror and ask herself what she can do to get her husband back!Frustrated in the South

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are very focused on teddies and lingerie. The idea of plus-size teddies does not thrill every plus-size woman. Maybe your wife would like to be thought beautiful, sexy and desirable in flannel.

Only one thing is certain: Sexy lingerie won't fix this. You'll have to try to find another way to communicate.

DEAR AMY: "Soccer Mom" said her child's soccer coach's own mother was continuously disruptive and abusive from the sidelines. You suggested that she speak with the coach, but I think this issue should be taken straight to the referee. Our refs have done a good job of limiting "sideline coaching."

Soccer Dad