Opportunity overseas, but duty calls here

DEAR AMY: I am dealing with an issue that has taken a huge toll on my relationship with my 11-year-old daughter. I have been divorced since 2009 after my wife decided to be with someone else. My wife has primary custody of our daughter. I see her every other weekend, for two weeks in the summer and one week after Christmas. My life has been mostly focused on my daughter while I have neglected mine. I work and live for those weekends with her. Now I have a chance to work overseas, almost doubling my income. I will be able to provide better for her. I have also met someone who is willing to move as well. I am guaranteed leave four times a year to see her. My daughter has a very difficult time with this. She says I am only thinking about myself. She refuses to talk to me or see me. My ex is not supporting my decision and I wonder what is the right thing to do? I do not want to lose my daughter, nor do I want to miss a chance at a new beginning in my own life.Sad Dad

DEAR DAD: The first thing you should do is to consider putting off your dream for three or four years. A teenager will cope with this separation much differently from an 11-year-old.

You are throwing a ton of change at your daughter, and she is responding in an understandable way.

If you choose to go, see your lawyer to find out if you can alter your daughter's visitation schedule so she can spend more extended periods with you. For instance, you could come to the States and fetch your daughter for a stay of several weeks during the summer.

Stay in frequent touch with her through lively letters, Skype calls and videos.

A family therapist could sit down with you and her mother to negotiate solutions and suggest techniques. For this to go well, your ex must behave.