Parents side with her drug-addict sister

DEAR AMY: I am 22, and my sister is 20. She has been dealing with a heroin addiction for almost a year. She went into rehab but was kicked out after five days. My parents have kicked her out of our house because of her continued drug use and because she has a serious stealing problem, but they still let her come over when I'm at work to hang out and eat dinner. She and I are not on speaking terms. Recently, my parents caught her stealing multiple items from my room. Still, they continue to act like nothing has happened. I feel they are so afraid of losing her to this addiction that she can do no wrong. Meanwhile, I am becoming more and more resentful and angry with my parents for allowing her to continue stealing from me. I feel like their loyalty is with my thieving sister. I don't know how to address my parents. Please help, I am desperate.Sober Sister

DEAR SISTER: Your parents either are unable or unwilling to protect your property from your sister. Secure anything of value where she cannot get it or put a lock on the door.

Your folks are in a heartbreaking position. They are trying to create safe boundaries while keeping the door open for a relationship with your sister. This relationship could be an important part of your sister's recovery, as long as they don't give her any money and establish consequences for her stealing.

One of the most unfortunate aspects of addiction is how it tears through relationships, leaving family members divided and emotionally shredded.

The way to talk to your parents is calmly and honestly. You are their daughter, too, and they should honor the relationship by listening and working with you to establish boundaries with your sister.

You cannot control your sister's actions or your parents' reaction. Accept this painful reality and make choices based on what you need. You and your parents can receive needed support from nar-anon.org.