Popes, meteors and what we thought we knew

I knew nothing, and so did you.

I knew popes don't quit. I knew meteors stay in the sky. I knew cruise ships are so gargantuan and stable, nothing can possibly go wrong.

There was evidence, solid evidence, for all of this. No pope had said "I'm outta here" since the 1400s. Meteors fly around the heavens all the time and hardly ever crash to Earth. As for the cruise ships -- well, we hear from time to time about the occasional unpleasantness. But all you had to do was take a ride on one of those floating metroplexes. You could barely even tell you were out at sea.

So what is going on now? Don't we know anything at all?

Out of the blue, Pope Benedict decided he'd had enough poping. A meteorite slammed into central Russia, injuring 1,100 very surprised central Russians. And the Carnival Triumph turned out to be neither of those. The ship was more like a floating Port-O-Let.

It doesn't stop there, of course. It never does. Expectations and assumptions mean nothing anymore. Who knows? The weathercaster might turn out to be right.

At least we know that Marco Rubio is the future of the Republican Party. We can drink to that. Or he can. We know that Oscar Pistorius, South African "Blade Runner" para-athlete and now accused girlfriend-killer, was a true inspiration at the 2012 Olympics -- was. And just as I was contemplating that -- whoosh! -- a 150-foot asteroid brushed by Earth.

That doesn't happen, right? Never that I recall. Just like hurricanes don't hit Long Island and last week the winter was pretty much done.

1. Cameras need film.

2. First-class costs just a little more.

3. The polls are wrong.

4. Beyonce sang the National Anthem.

5. The Senate is the greatest deliberative body on earth.

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