Pregnancy gives her boyfriend pause

DEAR AMY: I had a one-night stand with an old college friend two years ago, and my boyfriend discovered the truth. He was angry, but he said he wanted to put it behind us. I recently found out that I'm pregnant. Although the baby was unplanned, I'm very excited to be a mother. The problem is that my boyfriend wants me to get a paternity test to prove the child is his. I haven't slept with anyone else, and I know that he's the father. I could easily prove it, but I think that if I have to, something is wrong with the relationship. I thought that we had rebuilt trust for each other, but apparently not. I have no idea how to proceed with this, and I'm seriously considering ending the relationship.

--Positively Pregnant

DEAR PREGNANT: I have news for you. You can't simply end this relationship. This man is the father of your child, and so -- regardless of whether you're together -- you two will be in a relationship (of some kind) for a very long time to come.

You might as well get a paternity test.

In addition to the trust dynamic between you, if you don't continue together as a couple you will need to establish paternity to establish this father's rights and responsibilities.

This is a serious and very obvious expression of a lingering hostility between you.

Despite your boyfriend's statements that he wanted to put your infidelity behind you, it is very much in front of you now.

You two should mediate this with a professional counselor.

If he isn't able to forgive you and move on, then you won't be able to have a loving relationship.

It is also possible that he is not as excited as you are to be a parent; this might be his way of throwing roadblocks in the way and ending the romantic relationship (or trying to end the paternal relationship) on his terms.