Preparing daughter for indifferent sperm donor

DEAR AMY: Eighteen years ago, I conceived my daughter using an anonymous sperm donor. We've always been open about it with her. She has known that when she turned 18, she could send a letter to her donor in care of the sperm bank. She is eager to write that letter, and I have encouraged her to follow her heart. But I am worried her donor might not want to respond or that he may not be the man she's dreamed of all these years. How do I help prepare her for silence and/or disappointment? We've had such a good life together and she seems so happy. She's about to start her senior year with a 4.3 GPA, a great boyfriend and loving friends and family. Is there any way for me to diminish the pain of an unanswered letter?Proud Mom

DEAR PROUD: You can try to prepare your daughter for this experience by asking open-ended questions and listening to her responses: "What are you hoping for?" "What is your intent?" "How do you imagine he might respond?"

You should convey what all great parents tell their kids: "I will be here for you, regardless of how this turns out."You should promise yourself and your daughter that you will do your best to handle it honestly and with love.

DEAR AMY: Responding to the letter from "Wondering Wife" about how her physician husband could thank his patients on retiring, three years ago I went to my general practitioner for a regular checkup in December. In January, I realized I needed a refill on a prescription.

When I called, lo and behold, I was told he had retired! Needless to say, I was speechless.

After 40 years as a patient, I wish he had been courteous enough to let me and his many patients know he was retiring. What's Up Doc?

DEAR DOC: I completely agree.