Recognize your anorexia as a disease

DEAR AMY: I was diagnosed with anorexia three years ago. My parents forced me into an inpatient treatment facility against my will. I'm now in college, and life during the school year is much more bearable compared with the summer months when I return home. My parents are constantly harassing me about my eating patterns and the need to see my physician and dietitian.

I am not ready to make a recovery from this disorder. I don't want to get better. This is the lifestyle I want right now. This may be selfish of me, considering that my disorder affects the emotions of my family, but I believe I have the right to do what I want with my body. I'm overwhelmed by this worrying from my parents. I do not have the funds to move out. What would be the best way to defuse the tension while still living my life the way I want to?Anorexic

DEAR ANOREXIC: Anorexia is not a "lifestyle." It's a disease.

Right now, the disease is talking, so I'm going to sidestep your stated desire to dodge treatment.

I shared your letter with Lynn Grefe, president of the National Eating Disorders Association, who urges you to contact their help line at 800-931-2237 now to get a referral (edap.org). "Anorexia has the highest death rate of any mental illness. If your previous treatment didn't work, you should seek a second opinion," Grefe says.

Your folks have the perspective to know what you do not: that life is fragile and precious and that anorexia is a punishing, potentially fatal disease that could leave you with long-range and very serious health problems.

Your parents love you. They are trying to save your life, and your whole family should commit to whatever course of action will protect your health and well-being in the short and long terms. A professional counselor with expertise in eating disorders could help your parents. Even if you refuse to see a counselor, they should try it.