Responding to distress next door

DEAR READERS: "Worried Neighbor" wrote to me, concerned about her next-door neighbors. She said that the two neighbor children, both very young, were standing on their deck, reporting that, "Daddy is mad at Mommy." Worried heard a man "screaming at the top of his lungs" from inside the house. Worried was new to her community and didn't know what to do. I suggested she call 911.

Every time I run a letter having to do with possible abuse, I receive helpful and heartbreaking responses from people whose lives have been changed by abuse in the home.

Here are excerpts from a few:

DEAR AMY: Sometimes children see that kind of stuff every day and do not think that it is bad when in reality it is. If Worried is afraid of retaliation from the neighbor, she could ask that she remain anonymous, or have the police officer contact her by phone instead of identifying her by stopping at her house. Anyone in this situation should tell the dispatcher everything, such as hearing screaming, what the children said, etc. The more information the dispatcher has, the better information the officer would have to decide if they need to get into the house. 911 -

-Dispatcher in Oklahoma

DEAR AMY: As a child, I lived in an extremely abusive home. There is no doubt that our neighbors heard what was going on, or that my mom's friends, my teachers and many other people had reason to suspect abuse. No one did a thing. My siblings and I desperately needed an adult to intervene. A simple phone call could have saved us from years of torment (not to mention thousands of dollars in therapy).

--Survivor

DEAR AMY: I hope "Worried" will call the Department of Children's Services with her concerns. I had a similar experience and the sight of my neighbor's bloody crib still haunts me.

--Worried Too