She doesn't want to marry in twin's shadow

DEAR AMY: I am 22 years old, in graduate school, and living with my identical twin sister.

We both have very serious boyfriends. I have been dating mine for more than two years, and she has been with her boyfriend for one year. My boyfriend lives six hours away. My sister and her boyfriend are together nonstop. We all share a major at our small college and have all our classes together. This has caused an amazing amount of tension between the two of us. Now we both want to get engaged to our boyfriends. My boyfriend has his master's degree and a great job. He has told me he will propose before I graduate in May, but my sister's boyfriend has said that too. Her boyfriend's family is against the idea of living together before marriage, so I'm thinking they will have a quick wedding so they can live together. I have been dating my boyfriend much longer and have been talking about marriage much longer. I'm angry at the fact that this moment will once again be shared with my sister. Is it completely selfish of me to want something for myself? I just want to get engaged and married without it being overshadowed by my sister doing the same.Tired of Sharing

DEAR TIRED: I'm a sister -- and I know when it's time to get out of someone else's business.

Read your letter. The majority of it is about your sister, her boyfriend, his family and their choices. But what about you? Your engagement should be about you and your guy -- not about your sister and hers. Your twinship and the extreme proximity in your living situation have brought on understandable feelings. The antidote to this is to establish some distance. You and your boyfriend must keep your eye on your own relationship. Strive to separate your intentions from your sister's because, if you don't, her choices will continue to mirror (and maybe even dictate) yours.