She fears her boyfriend is a hoarder

DEAR AMY: I'm worried that my live-in boyfriend might be a hoarder. He's different from the people shown on TV living in waist-high filth. He's very neat and clean, but there are excessive amounts of stuff in every room of the house and in three storage units. There are piles of books, tools, clothes, new dishes and bedding -- most of it neat and organized. He saves piles of newspapers and brochures. He seems to save everything that comes his way. Then he goes and buys more stuff at local discount stores. The kitchen drawers are packed with plastic bags, bottle caps, twist-ties and other useless junk. We have enough plastic cutlery and paper napkins for many, many picnics! He's always incredibly busy and brags about his work ethic. And while he does work hard, he doesn't seem to finish what he starts. Close friends of mine hired him to do some work. Now he has way too much stuff in their space, and his work progress is stalled. He has left a trail of unfinished projects and stuff all over town! I'm really rooting for him to follow through, but what can I do to help? He gets mad whenever I try to talk to him about it.

--Overstuffed

DEAR OVERSTUFFED: My amateur guess is that your boyfriend is a hoarder--albeit a tidy one.

He could have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety or a compulsive disorder--which would contribute to his tendency to obsessively collect things.

As most of us have seen (due to the current popular fascination with the obsession), hoarding is tricky. But it can respond to therapy, treatment and very hard work.

No "fix" will work for your boyfriend, however, until he pursues answers, and so far he doesn't seem open to the possibilities. You have to decide if you can live with someone with these tendencies. If he doesn't face his problem and work hard to deal with it, the hoarding will likely get worse.