DEAR AMY: I worry that my husband of 20 years is gay and will eventually divorce me. We have three children. We both want a stable family life, but I just can't help thinking that our lackluster marriage will eventually end. I have no proof of any homosexual actions, but my husband has been growing ever more distant. I have voiced suspicions of his orientation at times (he has gay family members), but he denies it. Intimacy always has to be initiated by him, and it may only occur once or twice a month. We've been to marriage counseling, but we made no progress. The main problem for me is the lack of affection from him. It seems he prefers to avoid me by working late hours. We cope by pretending there are no issues. He is a hardworking, nice guy so he is not unbearable. I work part time and cannot support myself at this time. Is there something I should be doing? 
 --Worried Wife 
 DEAR WIFE: Questioning your husband's sexuality because he is distant from you will cause him to be defensive and will not yield a truthful answer. 
 Try counseling again with a simple goal of honest and open communication (rather than forcing the larger issue). 
 The best way to secure your future is to be brave enough to stand independently. If you don't want your marriage to be the way it is, then challenge your husband to work with you to change it. If he refuses to make an effort, then you have a decision to make -- to be self-supporting and independent. 
 DEAR AMY: I had to laugh out loud when I read the letter from "Under Pressure in D.C.," whose 3-year-old son carried his blanket around! I'm 55 years old and still have my blanket. It has been repaired by my grandma, borrowed by friends who faced crises, traveled Europe and Mexico, and celebrates with me on my birthday. 
 My blanket is a tattered wreck now, but I intend to frame it with a little hammer to break the glass in case of emergency! Blanketed in Seattle

DEAR AMY: I worry that my husband of 20 years is gay and will eventually divorce me. We have three children. We both want a stable family life, but I just can't help thinking that our lackluster marriage will eventually end. I have no proof of any homosexual actions, but my husband has been growing ever more distant. I have voiced suspicions of his orientation at times (he has gay family members), but he denies it. Intimacy always has to be initiated by him, and it may only occur once or twice a month. We've been to marriage counseling, but we made no progress. The main problem for me is the lack of affection from him. It seems he prefers to avoid me by working late hours. We cope by pretending there are no issues. He is a hardworking, nice guy so he is not unbearable. I work part time and cannot support myself at this time. Is there something I should be doing? --Worried Wife DEAR WIFE: Questioning your husband's sexuality because he is distant from you will cause him to be defensive and will not yield a truthful answer. Try counseling again with a simple goal of honest and open communication (rather than forcing the larger issue). The best way to secure your future is to be brave enough to stand independently. If you don't want your marriage to be the way it is, then challenge your husband to work with you to change it. If he refuses to make an effort, then you have a decision to make -- to be self-supporting and independent. DEAR AMY: I had to laugh out loud when I read the letter from "Under Pressure in D.C.," whose 3-year-old son carried his blanket around! I'm 55 years old and still have my blanket. It has been repaired by my grandma, borrowed by friends who faced crises, traveled Europe and Mexico, and celebrates with me on my birthday. My blanket is a tattered wreck now, but I intend to frame it with a little hammer to break the glass in case of emergency! Blanketed in Seattle

News

LSAMY29

She fears her husband is gay and may leave

Newsday

Homepage Trending

Newsday Investigates

First day of school on LI dates

Wallet Watch

FeedMe Magazine

NEWSDAY TV SHORTS

Vertical videos

NewsdayTV's Ken Buffa heads to Mastic Seafood to slice some fish and shuck some oysters on this week's LI Works.

LI Works: Shucking oysters and hauling fish at a local seafood market

NewsdayTV's Doug Geed visits the Jamesport Farm Brewery, which has been recently purchased by the owners of Waterdrinker Farms.

Out East: Jamesport Farm Brewery

The multi-billion project to improve the flow of energy to and from Long Island is facing pushback from some groups who say the health of Hempstead Harbor is at stake. NewsdayTV's Virginia Huie reports.

Underwater cable project to Long Island raises environmental concerns

On Thursday an "accidental electrical fire" damaged several areas of the historic Milleridge Inn's main property.

'Accidental electrical fire' damages Milleridge Inn

Cleaning crews were hard at work after a tornado ripped through the Sun and Surf Beach Club in Atlantic Beach Thursday evening. NewsdayTV's Andrew Ehinger reports.

'It was just a whistling sound that came right through'

Jones Beach Theatre concertgoers were hit by a massive storm Thursday night, causing the show to be delayed. Some attendees thought the concert should have been canceled. NewsdayTV's Shari Einhorn reports.

Wild weather raises concert safety concerns at Jones Beach 

Newsday travel reporter Carissa Kellman learns about renting and driving a skiff boat at Ted's Fishing Station in Point Lookout.

Cruise Long Island's shoreline on your own private boat

Since girls flag football became an official sport in New York high schools in the spring of 2023, participation in the sport has increased nearly 70%, NewsdayTV's Jared Valluzzi reports.

Flag football taking over spring sports

Bonsai tree-making classes, trivia nights, mocktails and private events are among the ways local venues are trying to draw customers. Newsday business reporter Tory Parrish has more.

As Americans drink less, Long Island bars and breweries get creative 

Ken Buffa stopped by La Cucina Paisanos in Farmingville to try their "pull apart soul-bowls," which are bread bowls stuffed with pasta.

Trendy Bites: Get stuffed with these Italian 'soul-bowls'

<a href="https://www.newsday.com/video/newsdaytv-top-stories">Get more on these and other NewsdayTV stories</a>

Newsday TV

NewsdayTV Top Item

Inside look at NUMC's aging infrastructure ... District spent nearly $1M to fire teacher ... Suffolk town's ICE plans ... Trendy back-to-school fashion

Inside look at NUMC's aging infrastructure ... District spent nearly $1M to fire teacher ... Suffolk town's ICE plans

News - megaslot

Newsday has the most up-to-date stories on Long Island & NTC. Join us & stay current with news articles on sports, business, health, technology & more.

Stay logged in.