She keeps drawing her ex back in

DEAR AMY: My ex and I have been on and off for the last four years, mainly because of me. We lived together. After a visit to my hometown a couple of years ago, I learned that he wanted to marry me and was planning on buying a ring. A sense of anxiety came over me and I freaked out. I ended things with him and asked him to move out. At the time, a lot of things were building up and it all just kind of exploded. Later, he ended up moving back in with me, and we were working on things, but I missed my family back home and decided to move back, leaving him behind. I have done some soul-searching and now I want him back. I have told him that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he is very wary of me. He says he is numb to anything I say. I am willing to do whatever it takes to win back his trust and love. I know that actions will speak louder than words and have been working seven days a week to save money so I can move to be closer to him and maybe have a chance to be together again. I want to prove that I do want to be with him. I don't know if I am living in a romantic comedy and hoping for a "happily ever after" outcome. I don't know if I should just let him go.Hopeless

DEAR HOPELESS: This could be one of those romantic comedies that ends in a restraining order.

If your guy wrote to me, laying out the scenario from his point of view, I would tell him to examine the actual evidence and make a choice based on your actions, not your statements.

In my anecdotal experience, people who cut and run tend to continue to cut and run, regardless of their intentions.

The kindest thing for you to do would be to let this man fly free, like the proverbial butterfly to which you prove your love -- by letting go.

Apologize to him, cop to being an idiot and let him decide what to do without crowding him.