She's mad boyfriend didn't update ex-wife

DEAR AMY: I just found out that my boyfriend of two years hasn't told his ex-wife we live together, even though we've lived together for more than a year. After I learned this I asked him if he had told his friends at work - or any friends - and he said, "I don't think it ever came up." I told everyone in my life when we moved in together. I think there's something wrong with a man who hides a relationship. Am I wrong in thinking he is putting his ex's feelings first and for some weird reason hiding my existence? He has told me he hates to make waves with her (I know her; she's a raving witch), and I am so fed up I want out. Am I overreacting? I feel dense, stupid and angry.Angry and Hurt

DEAR ANGRY: Unless your boyfriend has children with his ex, there is no reason for him to inform her of his other intimate relationships.

However, I agree that not telling others is hurtful to you. You two have a lot to talk about. You might start the ball rolling by hosting a get-together for friends from both sides of your relationship in your home. In the old days, these were called "dinner parties." Cooking was involved; flowers were placed in vases. Conversation happened. At the end of the evening, everyone pretty much knew what they needed to know about the relationships of the hosts and fellow guests. I suggest you try it.

DEAR AMY: I am responding to the letter from "Shirley," who talked about the stuffed bear her boyfriend (now husband) loved. Thanks for telling the story of this wonderful and tolerant wife. I'm 80 years old and wish I still had my "Shirley."Dick Seelye

DEAR DICK: This story has unleashed charming testimonials from other readers. I'll be running them in future columns.