She's not pregnant, don't ask her

DEAR AMY: I am a mom with young children. Because of a medical condition, I have a large belly, but am very thin otherwise. My condition requires major surgery, and I have two baby girls to run after, so I am waiting until both girls can be in school so I can be "down for two months" to recuperate from this surgery. I receive five to eight questions daily from people asking me, "When are you due?" Other than responding, "I'm not, thank you," how can I gracefully respond?Not PregnantDEAR NOT: I thought everyone on the planet had gotten the memo that one should never ask a woman when she is due until the woman in question has established that she is 1) pregnant, and 2) wishes to discuss it.

A pregnant woman will bring up this topic, opening the door to comments and queries.

A nonpregnant woman can only say, "I'm not 'due,' thank you." There is nothing more graceful than that.

Other than getting this response silk-screened across your shirt, you should be prepared to patiently state this until you can get your surgery.

DEAR AMY: "No Vacation" expressed the desire to enjoy "one last family vacation" before her 17-year-old senior headed for college. Her son refuses to join them. Having had the same situation in the teenage years with my now- adult sons, I have a suggestion: Allow him to bring a friend. Teenagers have a strong need to be with their peers. By having a friend along, he can get his peer fix and still spend time with family. Our vacations were always enhanced by the friends our sons brought along (we paid). It gave us a chance to enjoy ourselves and our kids, with the added bonus of getting to know their friends better.Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: I've received many responses on this. I love your suggestion.