She suspects trysts at absent neighbor's house

DEAR AMY: My neighbor works in another state and often is not able to return home. He is in his 60s. He has a close friend who is around the same age. The friend has a key to the house so he can check on it occasionally. Over an extended period, I have seen this friend bring a woman (not his wife) to the house. It's clear he is bringing her there for sexual reasons. I am disgusted by the behavior on so many levels, but I'm also concerned that my neighbor probably has no idea what is going on. Should I talk to my neighbor or keep my mouth shut?Not Nosy Neighbor

DEAR NEIGHBOR: Your judgment about your neighbor's friend's behavior is immaterial. These two may have an "arrangement," permitting this friend to use the house for whatever purposes he chooses.

Unless you feel the friend's behavior is disruptive, dangerous or otherwise bad for the neighborhood (an adulterous assignation doesn't qualify), there is no reason to report it.

Nor is there any reason to deliberately shield your neighbor from knowledge of this activity. If your neighbor contacts you, asking if everything is OK with his house, you could say, "Your friend seems to spend quite a bit of time there." Otherwise, leave it alone.

DEAR AMY: My husband has been friends with "John" since childhood. John e-mails porn to us every day. I delete his forwards. Our granddaughter opened one of these e-mails and couldn't believe we have a friend like that. I have asked him many times to stop, and he keeps sending this junk to us. My husband and I are disgusted. What can I do?E

DEAR E: From now on you should assign every e-mail from your friend's e-mail address to be sent directly to your "spam" folder. Then mail from his address won't sully your inbox.