She wants a vacation, immediate family only

DEAR AMY: I am a happily married mother of two children, ages 12 and 16. My parents are no longer living. My problem is that we spend every summer and Christmas holiday with my husband's parents, sister, brother and their children. I love them, but I would like to spend some vacation time with just my husband and kids. My son will be going to college soon, and I would like to take a trip or two with my immediate family before he leaves the nest. My in-laws are wonderful and offer to fly us out if we can't afford it, but I would still like to have a small family holiday sometime. Am I being selfish?Troubled Mom

DEAR MOM: Somehow along the way, your own desires must have been put on a shelf.

You aren't being selfish or unreasonable. The real question is why you think you might be.

Someone other than you seems to be in charge of your vacations. Figure out why this is the case and come up with a strategy for what you should do to change the dynamic.

The first step is to stop wondering if you deserve to have the immediate-family holiday you want to have.

Then you can state your case with conviction to your husband and children and make a plan.

DEAR AMY: You have run a couple of letters in your column about what to do when finding coins that might have value within the walls of an old house. I agree with you that these are "finders' keepers." We throw coins behind the wall whenever we do remodeling - and after we are long gone I hope whoever finds them wonders a little about us and enjoys a bit of history (and if they can sell them for lots of money - then I just really made their day!)Christine

DEAR CHRISTINE: I've heard from many people who say they bury "treasure" during renovations.