She wants details of husband's sexual past

DEAR AMY: Both my husband and I have fairly conservative values. We have been happily married for almost 20 years! My husband is the only man I have ever slept with; he had premarital relations that I was aware of prior to our marriage. This past year, I had two close (definitely platonic) male friends share with me the story of their first sexual experiences (both know that my husband is my one and only). I've spent much of the past year thinking that it is odd that I don't know my own spouse's first sexual experience, so I asked him. He found it offensive that I want to know details that he says he doesn't care about or think about. I am curious and think it only fair for him to tell me. He knows about my "first" experience and so why shouldn't I know his? Some details would be nice and would alleviate my growing curiosity. I feel that marriage is about intimacy, honesty and commitment. I am totally open. If this is something that is nagging at me (probably because he is holding it so close to the vest), then why would he not share some details and end the drama?! Can you shed some light on the situation and tell us your thoughts? He asked me to write to you.

--Curious

DEAR CURIOUS: You have a right to disclose whatever you wish to whomever you wish. And your husband has a right not to.

After so many years of marriage, he should not have to unlock his ancient history just because this suddenly fits into your definition of intimacy.

One way to mediate this would be for you two to agree to have a conversation instead of an interrogation.

Your husband could help ease the drama you created by speaking to this topic without acting offended -- but then you would have to agree to respect his right to keep some things private. Please give that a try.