She wants marriage, but he hasn't asked

DEAR AMY: I am 39 years old, and have been in an exclusive relationship with my boyfriend, whom I love very much, for a little over a year. We met through mutual friends and had a growing friendship before we started dating, so we were fortunate to have a foundation a lot of other couples don't have. Neither of us has been married, but it is something both of us want. We both want to have children. I've been very upfront with him about wanting marriage and kids, in that order. I also have been upfront with him about my biological clock, which is ticking loud and fast. Although we have had some very serious conversations over the last six weeks about our future, including marriage and kids, and he assures me I am the one, he has yet to "pop the question." He is a very cautious person, more slow-moving than anyone I have been with before. I am frustrated with the relationship as it is, and am ready for him to take it to the next level. I have communicated to him clearly where I would like things to go. Is it shortsighted of me to set a date for him to commit to marriage or jump ship? I can't hang out in limbo much longer.Worried

DEAR WORRIED: You have been very upfront with your guy (and good for you).

You need to realize and understand the pressure this imposes on him. You also need to realize that if you break up over this, any subsequent relationship will be under even more pressure. Ideally, you two would continue to navigate this together.

You could propose to him by saying, "I'd like to get married in the fall; what do you think of this idea?" Encourage him to be completely honest with you about this, with a promise of no hard feelings if he can't quite get there.

You (and he) may feel that it detracts from the "romance" of a proposal to do it this way, but there is nothing more romantic than making a mutual decision to march through life together. Ultimately, it doesn't matter who "pops the question."