Should cohabitation be kept from parents?

DEAR AMY: My boyfriend "Don" and I have decided that I'll be moving to where he lives as soon as I finish grad school in a few months (finally!). We're planning to live together with our two dogs. The trouble is, my boyfriend's parents do not approve of their children living with a significant other before marriage. They are wonderful people and have been nothing but welcoming to me, but in their conservative, Southern, Christian worldview, such an arrangement simply isn't proper. In truth, Don's two brothers have both secretly lived with their significant others, and his parents either didn't know or (more likely) chose to pretend not to know. In our case, however, his parents know I'll be moving across the country to live near him, and we have a feeling they might inquire about my living situation. Don and I are planning to spend Easter with his family, and questions about my imminent move are likely to come up. How should we handle this?Should he take his parents aside before Easter and let them know we've decided to live together and we'd like them to respect that? Should I be a part of this conversation? Should he mention it casually and hope they don't blow up? Or should we allow them the same courtesy that Don's brothers did by adopting a "don't ask, don't tell" policy?Soon to Be Cohabiting

DEAR SOON:Don should tell his parents about these plans well before Easter. He should assume his older brothers have more or less paved the way, enabling him to behave more openly then they have.

Telling his parents gives all of you the option of completely avoiding or ignoring the issue at Easter dinner and carrying on in the best tradition of "don't ask, don't tell" by pretending that a fact is not a fact.

If his parents control him through their disapproval and the fear of blowing up, this does not bode well. Lying about your life is no "courtesy."