Should groping friend be on wedding list?

DEAR AMY My fiance and I are planning the invitation list for our wedding. We both have family friends from our hometowns with whom we'd like to celebrate. One of these families has a son who had seriously offended one of our close friends. We were all together one night, and once it got late and people left, he made advances toward her. He climbed into bed with her, grabbed her and, after several requests by her to stop, he finally retreated. He might have been drinking, and no one knows if he remembers this event as hurtful or significant because no one has talked to him about it. This happened two years ago. Our friend is still hurt and avoids him. The problem is, we'd like him to be at our wedding but don't want to offend either of them. What to do?Deliberating Bride

DEAR BRIDE From your account, this male friend attempted to sexually assault your female friend but he may not realize the event was "significant" because nobody spoke to him about it.

I'm not sure how it came to pass that you are worried about offending him -- but because of your sensitivity, he may not realize his behavior is wrong until he does this again and somebody has the good sense to call the police.

If he has a habit of drinking until he is out of control, the person who is closest to him should let him know that this won't be tolerated at your wedding.

If you choose to invite him, you should tell your female friend that he will be among the guests. She should have the opportunity to choose not to attend.

DEAR AMY "Bothered Daughter" is bugged when her folks point out all the repairs needed around her home. I have the same problem -- but I have a response: "Here's a hammer, here are some nails. Go for it." Either that stops them in their tracks, or I get some free home repair. Savvy