Should husband stay in touch with past loves?

DEAR AMY: I'm 56 years old and in a second marriage of four years. I've discovered that my husband continues to speak with an ex-wife (divorced for 17 years now), a former common-law wife and a past girlfriend.

I have never met any of these women, and they call on my husband's cell phone. The other night he received a call from his past girlfriend while he was in the shower. I checked the number. I got the courage up and asked him who called. He told me after he listened to the message that it was a political solicitation from a blocked number. I told him that wasn't true and said I knew who called. He had no response.

Am I wrong to think there is something shady about a married man who continues to speak with women from his past and hides it from his wife? He does not have children or any other ties with these women. Life is too short to put up with this. What should I do?Worried Wife

DEAR WORRIED: There's nothing necessarily "wrong" with maintaining relationships with exes. Many people do this successfully. The problem is with your husband's secrecy. You've confronted him and he reacted like a child backed into a corner.

Now it's time for you both to handle this like grown-ups.

You should speak with him in a neutral way. In return he should be truthful. This conversation would work best if it were directed by a professional counselor.

DEAR AMY: As a I loved your response to "Romance Deprived." I had a gentleman come into my shop wanting to send his wife of 50 years a dozen roses. Being married during hard times, they had agreed not to buy each other gifts. He thought 50 years deserved something special. When I delivered her roses, she cried, he cried and I cried. Days later, he came in to say he never realized how much his making the effort would mean to her.Nancy