Simply Fondue

If you're thinking about a New Year's diet, start here. A mouthful or two of the appetizers, a bite of dessert, and you're clearly done at Simply Fondue.

The staff at this new link in the spear-and-dip national chain will be very upbeat about the whole thing. And, yes, there's another Simply Fondue in Glendale, just in case you're traveling and have the desire to stab something.

The latest establishment, above a supermarket in a busy shopping center, has more to do with socializing than eating. Just skewer, dunk and then do it again -- on "Mello Mondays & Tuesdays," "Oh Yes!!! It's Ladies Night!" Wednesdays and "Thankful Thursdays!! (It's Almost Friday)." Of course, it's a very theatrical enterprise. And your tab will approximate a side mezzanine ticket to "Mamma Mia!"

THE BEST

Enjoy a cheese fondue, with cuts of Granny Smith apples and trimmed vegetables. The bread needs work, but it will do. The fontina fondue with "grated Romano cheeses" is creamy and tasty, as is the "traditional Swiss chalet" of Gruyere and Emmentaler. The Spicy Pepper Jack number does have some heat. A green salad with Gorgonzola cheese and the modest Greek salad won't interrupt the conversation. Then, proceed to the "chocolate bliss" fondue made with dark chocolate; or the "campfire chocolate" finale, with milk chocolate, melted marshmallows and crumbled graham crackers.

THE REST

The main course fondues have the appeal of a Chia Pet shaped like The Clapper. You laugh, you wince. The "cooking styles," to be polite, feature canola oil and sesame butter; sangria, garlic, spices and "squeeze of orange"; and "amber bock Cajun." Into these bubbling liquids go harpooned nuggets of beef, pork, chicken, tuna, or mahi-mahi, shrimp and scallops. It requires more patience than dexterity; you're just poking around, trying to rescue survivors.

There are five a la carte dinner choices, too. 

THE BOTTOM LINE

The cheese stands alone.