Son goes from party guest to theft suspect

DEAR AMY: My family recently attended a party at a friend's house. There were many children of all ages there. My teenage son got bored, wandered upstairs and checked his e-mail on the host's computer. When I found out, he was reprimanded and apologized later to the host. Several weeks later, I got a call from this friend, telling me that money went missing from upstairs during the party. At first, I did not realize what she was implying. When I finally understood that she was accusing my son of taking it because he had been seen upstairs, I was shocked, I almost could not breathe. My son is a good kid. He's made mistakes, but he would never steal money. Of course, I confronted him about it and he was very upset and he strongly denied knowing anything about the money. I feel betrayed that this friend may have spread this accusation to other people. My instinct says to just walk away from this friendship because someone who would do this cannot really be a friend. Am I overreacting?Sad Friend

DEAR FRIEND: Your friend has not accused your son of taking this money -- she has implied that because he was upstairs in her home without permission, he could have taken it.

But what other way would she have of discussing this with you -- when you are offended at the very suggestion that this might have happened? You have to understand that your son is the logical perpetrator.

Twenty years of watching "Law and Order" have taught me that the logical suspect is most often the guilty party. You are overreacting, but that's to be expected. Speak to your friend. Say, "I'm horrified at this implication. My son insists that he did not do it. I believe him. Would you like to talk to him?" The fact is, your son made a choice to violate your friend's privacy and this puts him at the scene of the crime. The way to handle this is honestly, directly and calmly.

Your son is learning that facing a false accusation is a high price to pay for boredom.