Spendthrift graduate still has a lot to learn

DEAR AMY: My daughter just graduated from college. My husband and I paid all of her expenses, though she held a part-time job. We added about $10,000 to her savings account when she started college. She's spent all of her savings and pay on clothes and partying. Right before she graduated, she said she'd found an apartment to live in with two friends. I told her not to sign a lease because she couldn't afford it. She moved home and has a full-time job ($14 an hour) and a side job while she looks for work in her field. Her friends took the apartment and she goes there on weekends. She assured me that she was not on the lease. Of course, I find out that she is. I am livid. I told her she needs to either get someone to sublet the apartment or move into it, but she will not be able to keep our car or have us pay any of her expenses. She found a bus that can get her close to work but I worry for her safety when she gets out of work at 10 p.m. in a dangerous neighborhood. She wants to buy our car, but I know she won't keep up the payments. She needs to see what real life is all about - but if something happened to her I'd never forgive myself. Any ideas?Distressed MomDEAR DISTRESSED: Let your daughter move and offer to sell her the car at a reasonable price. When she has saved enough to buy it outright, she'll have a car.

Counsel her on her safety and encourage her to get a cab or ask a friend to pick her up if she works late. Concerns about her safety should extend beyond the bus stop. She and her apartment mates will have to be smart about the risks of living on their own.

And you, like all parents, will worry about your daughter's ability to manage her life.

Her spending habits will get her into trouble unless she makes the connection necessary to be a good steward to her own finances. Until then, I suggest it's time she learned to eat ramen noodles over the sink.