Staying balanced after a lottery windfall

DEAR AMY: I've lived with a man for 10 years. He had a great job but lost it after many years because of an indiscretion. He has since refused to find any meaningful employment. He's never gone outside of the "box" and doesn't seem to have much imagination. Good fortune has come recently because of a lottery win. Now the two of us are self-sufficient. Prior to this win, I was very happy with my seasonal position. I wish to continue it for the next couple of years. (I am only 57.) This job has kept me in contact with the outside world and gives me a sense of accomplishment. My "spouse," on the other hand, wants me to give all this up to accompany him in his daily life because he has no "life" of his own. He remains inside the "box." I urge him to do his own thing but have had difficulty getting results. Any suggestions?Lottery Winner

DEAR WINNER: You seem to be the one inside the "box," and frankly, that's a good thing.

Lottery winners do best when they don't make any drastic moves. The most successful ones hold onto their jobs, homes and relationships -- and use their windfall to achieve long-term financial stability.

You both are in a wonderful position to achieve a nice balance in life -- between work and leisure, travel and home.

You should both receive professional financial counseling -- because you may not have a realistic view of how far your winnings will take you.

You also need to conduct a big picture discussion about your ideas and ideals. You should each declare an individual goal and then name a goal you would ideally like to share with your partner. Your goal might be to continue working for the next two years; his might be to stay home and tinker.

Then you each get to choose an experience the other will share -- but you are not responsible for providing him with constant company. He'll have to make the most of his good fortune.