Suspicious wife want's husband's passwords

DEAR AMY: My husband of 28 years and I disagree about privacy issues. I think that as his wife I should know his email account passwords, his voice-mail number to get messages, if he is on Facebook, etc. I feel he should be an open book. He says I am nosy and it is none of my business. I think I should be able to read his text messages. He told me, "It's my cellphone, you have your own!" Some trust issues have surfaced recently, but he said it is all in my head.SuspiciousDEAR SUSPICIOUS: I agree that spouses should be "open books," but I also believe that individuals have a right to privacy. Trust in a relationship creates a space of sorts where individuals can operate freely and privately. Ironically, you can have all the privacy in the world if you have nothing to hide.

Your suspicion provides a rational reason to want access, but your suspicion also gives your husband the motivation to dig in his heels and then blame you for his behavior.

You two should talk this through with a marriage counselor. And you should realize that you could be given total access to every device in your husband's life, and he could still (and quite easily) do, say or write things you will never find out about.

DEAR AMY: I'd like to pass on some words of encouragement to the "Distant Dad" who wrote about his kids being moved 1,000 miles away. I was 4 and my sister was 2 when my parents divorced. My sister and I spent summers with him when we were younger, and once I was old enough to voice my opinion and be taken seriously, I alternated years living with him. We didn't have Skype or email, but (as you suggested) he sent postcards. He made a point to integrate me into the life he had. We didn't do fancy trips, and he didn't buy me things. Just being a normal dad when we were around was the best thing. He always loved me, and I always knew it without any doubt.Charity