Teen should let marriage decision wait

DEAR AMY: I'm a 17-year-old senior in high school, and I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. He's close to my age, and we have many things in common, including what we want to do with our lives. We do truly love each other, and we agreed to spend the rest of our lives together, but the big problem is marriage. I have never wanted to get married, partly because I watched my parents' marriage fall apart before my eyes. My boyfriend, however, is a Christian (as are his parents), and it would embarrass his family if he and I lived together before marriage. Is there any halfway solution to this? I love my boyfriend to death, but I'm afraid that getting married will ruin our relationship, as I've seen happen many times before.Not the Blushing Bride

DEAR NOT: You are a teenager. So though you are definitely old enough to be in love, you aren't old or mature enough to make a decision about marriage.

And so you shouldn't make a decision about marriage. Not yet, anyway.

The appropriate halfway solution for you and your guy is for you to be in a committed relationship but not live together.

You two should use the next few years to pursue your goals for higher education and to find a profession.

You and your boyfriend should continue to talk about your relationship and where marriage fits into it, because, as individuals and as a couple, your personal feelings about marriage (both for and against) will likely change.

As you age and gain experience, I hope you will come to understand that marriage didn't kill your parents' relationship.

Marriage doesn't work for everyone, and not all couples should be (or stay) married; but when a relationship falls apart, it isn't marriage that's at fault.