Teen with bipolar mom needs help

DEAR AMY: I am 16 and live with my mom, my dad and my 10-year-old sister. My mom has always had mood swings, but they've gotten progressively worse in the last few years. Last year I believe she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but neither she nor my dad has really told me anything. Two or three times a week, she will spiral downward into extreme anger or upset to the point of tears or throwing things. Sometimes she will sleep for hours until she feels better, leaving me to care for my sister while my dad's at work. My dad says there's nothing we can do, because she doesn't want to change. I almost wish he would divorce her and take us away, because even though it would be hard, we wouldn't have to worry about what might set off my mom's mood swings. On the other hand, I'm terrified that divorce might push my mom to suicide. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I know her moods affect my sister terribly. We don't have any family we can rely on. I'm not so much afraid of my mom as I am for her, but I don't know what to do to make things better. Help!Terrified Teen

DEAR TEEN: Your family needs professional intervention right away.

Mental illness takes a tremendous toll on the whole family. Your home is filled with tension and uncertainty. I give you so much credit for understanding this and for shouldering this burden. Her illness is not a matter of choice - though treatment would help.

Seek out a sympathetic teacher or counselor at school. This person should be able to connect you with mental health services in your community. You need a safe place and an understanding person to talk to.

Continue to reach out to your dad and keep him informed about how you're feeling. He should tell you what's going on with your mother. Even though he may feel overwhelmed, you and your sister need all of his help and support.