Tell CEO to veto political e-mails

DEAR AMY: I belong to an online group for an organization I work for. The chief executive has been using this group to send out political e-mails that endorse her candidate. She wants the members of this group to join the party, go to events and donate money. I find this extremely unprofessional. Should I say something to her?

Not That PartyDEAR NOT: Soliciting for a candidate and asking for money is not appropriate for an online group if the group is exclusive to your workplace. The person who runs this network should contact the members to remind them of the purpose of the group and the protocol surrounding contact. Obviously, your chief executive feels she is beyond the normal work rules regarding political statements or solicitations. You should take your concerns to the human resources department to see if they have advice for you.

Depending on the size of your organization and your relationship (if any) to the chief executive, you could communicate directly to her and say, "I'm not sure what to do when you send notices about your political candidate. I feel this creates some pressure to comply and donate money."

DEAR AMY: As a minister, here's my input for "Concerned," the woman who planned to marry her military husband in a civil ceremony. Her mother didn't want them to have sex until they had been married in a religious ceremony. It may be helpful for her mother to sit down with a trusted clergy member to talk about the way her religion views civil marriage ceremonies. Unless they are Catholic or Orthodox, chances are that their part of the Christian tradition recognizes a civil marriage as a valid marriage, meaning sex is OK. Perhaps an easier fix would be to ask a member of the clergy to perform the small ceremony now. While many of us require some sort of premarital counseling, I'm sure Concerned and her fiance can find a clergy member who will work with their timeline. I would be delighted if, for once, I was asked to perform a wedding ceremony that was not all about show and focused on the substance of getting married.

Erica Schemper, associate pastor

for children and youth, Fox Valley Presbyterian Church, Geneva, Ill.DEAR ERICA: One of the "concerns" raised by this writer was that her mother might not pay for a wedding reception if she knew the couple engaged in sex after their civil ceremony (but before the religious one). I suggested that anyone mature enough to marry into the military should also be ready to stand up to her mother. Clergy could help this family sort things out, as you suggest.