Tell pals stop talking about hubby's looks

DEAR AMY: My husband is not only very attractive to me but apparently to all my friends. They are constantly making comments about his good looks and perfect physique. It embarrasses him and upsets me. How can I tell my friends how I feel without sounding like I am conceited about my own looks? How do I deal with the feeling that perhaps he is out of my league? My husband is loving and devoted. He says I'm "beautiful" every day and says that when my friends make comments like this, they are acting out of jealousy. But that doesn't make me feel better.Uneasy

DEAR UNEASY: Your friends are making both of you uncomfortable. And you are worried about how this might reflect upon you? Your husband is not a Chippendale dancer. He is a person.

You two should shut this down. He can wave this off by saying, "Ladies, I don't like these comments and I wish you would stop." When you are with your friends, tell them these comments have become a problem for you. Ask them to be more sensitive to both of you and to find another topic.

You need to get a handle on your own insecurity -- it is interfering with your confidence in your relationship.

DEAR AMY: I want to comment on your response to "Unsure," who complained because his wife had gained 25 pounds over the past 10 years. You said his wife knows she is overweight and doesn't need for him to tell her that. But she does need to hear that it is affecting his physical attraction to her. After kids and years of a super-stressful job, I gradually became almost 50 pounds overweight. Did I know it? Yes. But I managed to rationalize it, excused it and figured my husband didn't care. My weight did impact our sex life, but more from my perspective than his, and that made everything worse. My husband finally told me that it made him feel sad. It made him feel as if I didn't care what he thought, and that he wasn't important enough for me to try and look good. It was hard to say, hard to hear, but necessary. It was a wake-up call that didn't make me feel harshly criticized, but it did make me aware -- in a way that I simply couldn't dismiss -- of the impact my actions were having on my husband and on our marriage. Every marriage needs a periodic adjustment to keep it thriving. Of course, the love within is the most important, but the things you do to show you care are important to the equation. Unsure needs to have this talk. No Longer Unsure

DEAR NO LONGER: This is an extremely wise response, and I applaud both of you.