Therapist takes exception to client's wig

DEAR AMY: I am an attractive 70-year-young woman who has been going to a therapist for two years for depression. I'm much better now. However, I have been gradually losing my hair. I come from a family of women with thinning hair, and my mother and grandmother both wore wigs as older women. After much soul-searching, research and trial-and-error, I started to wear a realistic silver-gray wig. It looks great. My sister didn't even realize it was a wig. People just say my hair looks good. I am divorced and trying online dating, so I feel I need all the confidence I can get. My wig doesn't look like Dolly Parton's big hair. I've observed that it is acceptable for men to have thinning (or no) hair, but not women. This week -- out of the blue -- my therapist told me I was "wearing a mask for society." When I asked what she meant, she said she was referring to my wig and that my own hair wasn't that bad. Now I'm wondering if I am hiding my real self by wearing a wig. Reluctant Wig Wearer

DEAR RELUCTANT: In my view, if you went into your therapist's office with your depression under control and sporting a full Dolly Parton wig and outfit -- and if you reported that you felt good about it -- your therapist should pronounce you 100 percent awesome.

Your therapist's role is to help you to explore your motivations, actions and reactions, and help you face the consequences of your choices. It is appropriate for your therapist to ask you to reflect on why you are choosing to wear a wig, but not to judge its aesthetics -- or to say your own hair "wasn't that bad" -- unless you specifically asked for her feedback.

We all wear "masks for society." If you know that what's beneath your wig is acceptable and authentic but you prefer to wear it because you like the way you look and feel when you're wearing it, then I'd say you're making the right choice.