Time to pull away from inconsiderate pal

DEAR AMY: A friend refuses to take her soda and popcorn cartons out of the movie theater and put them in the trash can at the door because "they (the people who work there) are paid to do that" and "picking up trash gives them a job." She is also the kind of person who leaves her grocery shopping cart in the middle of the parking stall so no one else can park there or it rolls and hits other cars. At the office, she will not assist office support staff when they are overloaded, even if she is not busy. Not surprisingly, she won't go to a self-service gas station. I have, on occasion, taken her popcorn and soda cartons to the trash but can't always juggle both hers and mine, and when I help office staff, she just looks at me and says, "Why are you doing that?" I've never been able to come up with a good comeback. Do you have any ideas for what I should say to her?Frustrated and DisappointedDEAR FRUSTRATED: Not every transgression calls forth a great comeback. Sometimes, the best comeback isn't a snappy statement intended to put a person in her place, but rather a backing away from a friendship with someone who seems entitled and thoughtless.

Unless your friend exhibits other qualities that make her a worthwhile movie or shopping companion, you might rethink your choice to spend so much time with her.

The reason to pick up your own trash and tether your shopping cart is because in this world (and in our can-do culture) able-bodied adults clean up after themselves.

This does not take jobs away from other people. It just means there is one less slob for a minimum-wage worker to clean up after. The reason to pitch in at the office is because it is kind to do so -- it also is smart business.

Her behavior doesn't inspire others to extend themselves to her, and, unfortunately, by the time she learns this lesson (say, when it comes time for her professional evaluation), it already will be too late.