Tired of monkeying around in the middle

DEAR AMY: I'm a junior in high school. My sister, "Martha," just started college at a nearby university, so I see her quite often. We're pretty close. She has had a string of boyfriends. Her relationship with our mom isn't that great, so Mom usually relies on me for information about her and her boyfriends. My sister started dating "Leon" and she's really in love. She thinks they might get married. The problem is that he is Hispanic and our mother is racist. I met Leon, and he's a good guy. Our mom won't even meet him. My dad always stays out of conflicts, and now I'm stuck in the middle. How can I convince my mom to accept, or at least meet/get to know, Leon? And how can I convince Martha to talk to my mom again?Upset Sister

DEAR SISTER: According to you, your sister just started college and already has had a string of boyfriends and has now hooked up with someone she wants to marry. Doesn't anyone go to classes anymore?

Your close relationship with your sister is a wonderful thing. But her drama isn't your drama. You can't parent her -- or your mother. Drawing a firm line between relationships is tricky, but so is brokering a truce.

If your mother pumps you for information, you can say, "Mom, if you want to find out about Martha, you should ask her." Reverse the statement and deliver it to your sister.

DEAR AMY: This is in response to "Curious," who wanted her husband to tell her about his "first time." When my wife and I first got together, I asked her how many guys she'd been with before me. She told me we weren't going to have that conversation because, in her words, "nothing good will come of it." I asked her if she wanted to know my history and she said, "Nope." Twenty-six years later, we're still married. I never got an answer and I stopped caring a long time ago.

Incurious Bob

DEAR BOB: There you go!