Too hasty in splitting from heavy drinker?

DEAR AMY: I recently ended a six-month relationship with a girl who often drank to the point of blacking out and from time to time took recreational drugs. While the warning signs were always there, there was also an amazing connection, and we shared some wonderful moments. She was truly great on many levels, but her off-the-rails behavior terrified me. I miss her a great deal. Did I make a mistake?Lonely in LA

DEAR LONELY: Each of us has a personal threshold of what can be tolerated. If you are with someone whose behavior "terrifies" you, then, yes, your choice to end the relationship and tolerate the loneliness seems to me like an important act of self-preservation.

Furthermore, I think any relatively sober person would feel frightened and unsure to be with someone who drinks to the point of unconsciousness.

Alcoholics are like everybody else: sometimes amazing, loving, smart, charming, funny and compelling. Unfortunately, the fallout from addiction can be tremendous for loved ones. It is a depleting, depressing and lonely life to be with someone long term who engages in such dangerous behavior.

So, no, I don't think you made a mistake, not at all.

DEAR AMY: Thanks for your response to "A Refined Palate," the man who couldn't stomach eating a friend's terrible cooking. At last, someone had the courage to rein in a foodie. I've been cowering in the corner as some of my erstwhile friends have become "refined" to the point of being totally intolerant of ordinary home cooking. They wax on about rarefied offerings at restaurants, and at home increasingly insist on particularities in water, wine, miniature vegetables, artisanal breads, unsalted butter, flavored vinegars, flavored olive oils, baby lettuce. Yikes. I'm so intimidated that I no longer invite people over for dinner. When did fellowship, politeness and gratitude disappear in exchange for competitive dining?Marilyn