Touchy omission from baby's photo book

DEAR AMY: For Christmas, my wife and I gave a photo book of our daughter to all of her grandparents and great-grandparents, chronicling her first nine months. We collected impromptu photographs with everybody in the immediate family -- except for my stepmother. We don't have a photo with her because she is super-picky about pictures. She'll frequently ask for photos of her to be deleted due to her unhappiness with her appearance. Now my father and stepmother are "feeling slighted" that no photo of her was included. They've accused us of not trying hard enough to obtain a picture of my stepmother with the baby. They claim we should have informed my stepmother as to our intentions to get a good photo. My wife and I feel this is unfair. We didn't plan to do this project when we were taking the photos originally. Did we do the wrong thing? Can we correct it? Trying to Do RightDEAR TRYING: I love your idea, but ask yourself: How would you feel if you received a family's chronicle of a child's first months, only to see that you were the only family member left out? This is an especially tender issue with stepparents. I can understand your stepmother's hurt feelings.

Tell her you were trying to surprise everyone and were too rushed to be inclusive. Tell her you'll make sure to include her in the next photo book, and ask her to forgive this oversight.

DEAR AMY: "Joan" wondered if she could justify spending a cash gift from her parents on her dream of taking a trip to India. Look at it this way. Making lots of assumptions, Joan, 50, earning $40,000 a year, will make and spend another $600,000 by age 65. She will come home from her retirement luncheon with one of two thoughts: I have $10,000 in the bank, a long-ago gift from my parents; or, I remember the golden face of Krishna, with serpents around his neck, lighted by 100 candles, dancing on one foot and smiling at me. Go, girl, go! Perry