Trying to repair husband's humiliation

DEAR AMY: I made a stupid joke about my husband in front of his friends and co-workers. I did it innocently, but my husband was humiliated. Now all his co-workers are making fun of him at work. He is furious and feels I don't love him. I know disrespecting him in front of his friends like that was careless. He says he isn't sure he will ever be able to forgive me. We have been married for 17 years and have two wonderful kids. I am truly sorry, but I'm not sure how to fix this.HeartbrokenDEAR HEARTBROKEN: Even though you admit this remark was careless and stupid, you should at least recognize that doing this also was hostile and humiliating.

Things said in jest often are more revealing of a person's true intent than the jester is willing to admit. Your husband may be making this assumption. And because he is being razzed at work, this comment of yours has "legs." All the same, if you have apologized and asked for forgiveness, your husband should make an effort to release his own anger over this and meet you halfway.

If you find you two can't successfully get past this, you should meet with a counselor.

DEAR AMY: Your reply to "No Vacation" was spot-on. This mom wrote about a sulky teen who was refusing to go on the family vacation. We waited for our oldest child to graduate from college before we went on our "final" family vacation. What a difference those years made in terms of maturation, pleasant companionship and appreciation! If we give teens the space they need to come around, they become very pleasant people.Been There in Syracuse

DEAR BEEN THERE: Teens balk and sulk because they don't know how else to handle the prospect of their eventual separation from their family. Remember this, parents: They don't want to be with you because they don't want to part from you!