Unhappy about being cut out of the picture

DEAR AMY: My mother is an amazing grandmother. She takes care of our son frequently and loves him tremendously.

We are very grateful. However, recently I believe she may have overstepped her generosity. Without our permission, my mother had professional pictures taken of our son. She chose which pictures she likes and plans to send them to everyone on both sides of our families. It is my opinion that professional pictures should be arranged or at least cleared by the parents. I would have liked to have had input. Do I have a legitimate reason to be upset? Or am I being childish?

--Conflicted Daughter

DEAR CONFLICTED: Be honest with your mother, but treat this not as a directive but a corrective. I agree with you that it is important for parents to be aware of any "outside" ventures involving young children. This includes commissioning professional photographs or signing a child up for lessons or sports teams.

You say, "Mom, I can totally understand why you wanted to do this. But Brad and I wish you had run this idea past us first. Can you understand that this is the kind of thing we feel like we should know about in advance?" Your mother might have wanted to surprise you with the photos. She may feel wounded. But your mother must remember that as much as you love and trust her, you and your husband must be kept in the loop.

DEAR AMY: My family and I are going to visit friends for a week at their summer home. I am the only vegetarian among four adults and six kids. How do I avoid making this a huge imposition on them?

--Stressed Out

DEAR STRESSED: My suggestion involves you, a big pot of pasta and fresh, homemade pesto (get the kids to help). Cook a yummy meal for the group on one night. Eating vegetarian is a breeze, especially in the summer.