Unsure of leaving stepson home alone

DEAR AMY: I am stepmom to a 17-year-old boy. My husband and I have gone in circles over whether "PJ" should be able to have friends over when we are not home. We have a pool and there is alcohol in the home. I am a teacher and have worked with teens for years. I could lose my job if I left my class alone for even a minute. I feel that parents frequently put kids in a compromising position by leaving them responsible for the behavior of their friends. Peer pressure is powerful. It is not a huge stretch to think that teenage boys might take advantage of a situation when given the opportunity. I do not want this liability imposed on me. I would appreciate your perspective.

--No Home Alone

DEAR ALONE: I agree with you to the extent that parents should never leave teenagers alone overnight. In this regard, teenagers are like toddlers.

However, your stepson is one year away from leaving home (presumably).

He will need to learn how to modulate his own actions and -- yes -- how to take some responsibility for his friends' actions when in your home.

You should feel comfortable letting your stepson have some friends over while you and your husband go out to dinner or to a movie.

He and his friends should realize that you could return with no warning.

If you feel you can't trust him around alcohol, you can lock up or remove it, but be aware that someone could bring alcohol into your home.

Tell your son that if any alcohol is consumed in your home (by him or by any guest), he will forfeit your trust in him and consequences will be swift and certain.

I agree that your pool represents a significant hazard.

Tell all guests personally that there will be no swimming after dark, and call all their parents and repeat this safety rule to them.