DEAR AMY: I am a graduate student in my late 20s. My mother has been addicted to marijuana my whole life. She says it's for lower <a href="/topics//Back_Pain">back pain</a>, but when she gets high it is impossible to talk to her. She can't hold a job or keep friends. My parents are getting a divorce, and my dad claims it is partly because she refuses to admit she has a drug problem or take responsibility for her life. Whenever I try to talk about this, my mother becomes defensive. I want to tell her I feel this is preventing us from having a good relationship. She has chosen this drug over me repeatedly during my life. I realize now that she may be like this for the rest of her life. Is it worth mentioning to her how I feel? Or will that just be another burden for her? 
 --Wanting a Drug-Free Mama 
 DEAR WANTING: Your situation is heartbreaking, and the answer for you is to speak your own truth with compassion. 
 And then you must work hard to detach with love. Realize that your mother is flawed, addicted and ill. Even though you deserved so much better, in the cosmic matchup of parent and child, you were handed an extreme challenge. 
 Your truth might ultimately be your mother's gift, as long as it is accompanied by a request for her to get help for her addiction. 
 Write down a simple and concentrated version of your truth. Here's a sample: "Mom, your addiction is breaking my heart. I want to have a better relationship with you, but I can't do this as long as you are using. I am urging you to get help. I want to know you as a sober person." Deliver this message verbally or in writing. 
 You and your father should research rehab programs for your mother (you can start with Narcotics Anonymous, a 12-step program, at na.org). You should also seek counseling and group support through Al-Anon or Nar-anon. The Nar-anon website lists local meetings (nar-anon.org).

DEAR AMY: I am a graduate student in my late 20s. My mother has been addicted to marijuana my whole life. She says it's for lower back pain, but when she gets high it is impossible to talk to her. She can't hold a job or keep friends. My parents are getting a divorce, and my dad claims it is partly because she refuses to admit she has a drug problem or take responsibility for her life. Whenever I try to talk about this, my mother becomes defensive. I want to tell her I feel this is preventing us from having a good relationship. She has chosen this drug over me repeatedly during my life. I realize now that she may be like this for the rest of her life. Is it worth mentioning to her how I feel? Or will that just be another burden for her? --Wanting a Drug-Free Mama DEAR WANTING: Your situation is heartbreaking, and the answer for you is to speak your own truth with compassion. And then you must work hard to detach with love. Realize that your mother is flawed, addicted and ill. Even though you deserved so much better, in the cosmic matchup of parent and child, you were handed an extreme challenge. Your truth might ultimately be your mother's gift, as long as it is accompanied by a request for her to get help for her addiction. Write down a simple and concentrated version of your truth. Here's a sample: "Mom, your addiction is breaking my heart. I want to have a better relationship with you, but I can't do this as long as you are using. I am urging you to get help. I want to know you as a sober person." Deliver this message verbally or in writing. You and your father should research rehab programs for your mother (you can start with Narcotics Anonymous, a 12-step program, at na.org). You should also seek counseling and group support through Al-Anon or Nar-anon. The Nar-anon website lists local meetings (nar-anon.org).

News

LSAMY10

Urge mom to get help for her pot addiction

Newsday

Homepage Trending

Latest LI weather forecast

Trump accounts: What LI parents need to know

Summer Fun Book

NEWSDAY TV SHORTS

Vertical videos

A draft rule introduced this month by House and Senate Republicans would significantly limit compensation for service-connected tinnitus and sleep apnea for veterans. NewsdayTV's Virginia Huie reports.

LI vets concerned about bill that would reduce benefits

NewsdayTV's Doug Geed visits Palmer Vineyards, where they host 'summer late nights,' which have become very popular.

Out East: Take a sip at this winery that's ready for summer

After the British took control of Long Island, George Washington created a special unit for intelligence gathering, the Culper Spy Ring. NewsdayTV's Doug Geed reports.

America 250: The Culper Spy Ring on LI

Newsday food writer Erica Marcus explores the new farmers market at Station Yards in Ronkonkoma.

Farmers market opens at Station Yards

Brianna's Law, named after an 11-year-old girl who died in a 2005 accident, requires all operators of motorized vessels to take a boating safety course. NewsdayTV's Andrew Ehinger reports.

After her daughter's boating death, mom went from grief to 'unstoppable' safety advocate

The number of IOUs issued by LIRR conductors for fare evasion fell by more than half from 2024 to 2025. Newsday transportation reporter Alfonso Castillo explains.

LIRR IOUs for fare evasion are down

NewsdayTV's Elisa DiStefano visits L'Etoile in Oyster Bay. The French restaurant is in the building that used to be Snouder's Drug Store.

Historic LI building home to new French restaurant

NewsdayTV's Ken Buffa visits Signorama in Huntington Station.

LI Works: Ken lights up the room as he makes signs

Two sharks were spotted off Long Island shores Thursday, at Lido Beach and Long Beach. NewsdayTV's Ken Buffa reports.

Sharks spotted off shores of two LI beaches 

Newsday travel writer Carissa Kellman takes the High Line to Chelsea Market and Pier 57.

Exploring NYC's High Line

<a href="https://www.newsday.com/video/newsdaytv-top-stories">Get more on these and other NewsdayTV stories</a>

Newsday TV

NewsdayTV Top Item

News - megaslot

Newsday has the most up-to-date stories on Long Island & NTC. Join us & stay current with news articles on sports, business, health, technology & more.

Stay logged in.