When co-worker misspends donated money

DEAR AMY: My co-worker's wife has Stage 4 cancer, and he has put out the word that he needs money for the mounting medical bills. He also said he was on the verge of losing his home. Here in the office, we pooled our money to deposit a large sum into a bank account that was set up for him. Lately, every time we talk to this co-worker, he talks about how he just bought new furniture and is now taking the family to Disneyland with the funds. Many co-workers are starting to feel used. We know the cancer story is true, but with all the contributing, what's next on his shopping list? Should we explain that we feel the funds are being abused or just let it go?

Insufficient Funds

DEAR INSUFFICIENT: Your colleague might be under the mistaken impression that he needs to show his gratitude by parading - or inflating - his purchases. Your charity should extend so far as to not leap to unkind conclusions.

However, whoever is closest to him at the office should speak with him. It is quite obvious that he needs financial mentoring.

If he is behind in his mortgage, it would be best if he turned over his most urgent bill to an administrator who could make sure he doesn't lose his home.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to "Office Cinderella," whose co-worker took an unflattering photo of her and saved it on her cell phone. She also showed the photo to co-workers. Your advice was to laugh it off. Believe me, at the company where I work, human resources would be having a very stern conversation with this co-worker. She's creating a hostile work environment for this person and demeaning her to fellow employees. It should not be tolerated.Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED: Many readers agreed with you that this is a matter HR should handle. Thank you.