DEAR AMY: I'm a divorced father of a teenage daughter. I've been seeing a fantastic divorced mother of three young children (ages 4, 6 and 8) for more than two years. I was seeing a therapist for my own personal growth, and we attempted couples counseling to work on some issues, but things did not improve, mostly because she wasn't working on herself. About six weeks ago, I decided to break it off. We had no contact for a few weeks, then decided to reunite. Now things are really good and our commitment is strong. I am even buying a home on the same street as my girlfriend to work on combining our families. 
 Her children seem to feel that I didn't just break up with their mom, I broke up with them. The 4-year-old even asked me why I broke up with him. I didn't know what to say. 
 I don't know what my girlfriend said to the kids. I fear that she showed her anger and hurt. Now she wants the two of us to talk to them about the breakup and our commitment to each other. I question if this is appropriate because we are not married. I said that I would participate, but if the kids ask me why I broke up with their mom I would only say that this is an adult conversation. I believe it will come up. How do you suggest we handle this discussion, and what should be the message to the kids?" 
 P" in P-town 
 DEAR "P": If you left their mother and didn't have any contact with the kids for several weeks, I have news for you -- you did break up with them. You should acknowledge that this would be confusing and sad for them. I agree with the idea of sitting down to reassure them and answer any questions they might have. There is no "commitment" information to share -- other than your friendship and personal commitment toward them. Say, "Recently I needed time away from your mom to sort things out. But I'm completely cuckoo crazy about you kids and I'm always on your side, no matter what."

DEAR AMY: I'm a divorced father of a teenage daughter. I've been seeing a fantastic divorced mother of three young children (ages 4, 6 and 8) for more than two years. I was seeing a therapist for my own personal growth, and we attempted couples counseling to work on some issues, but things did not improve, mostly because she wasn't working on herself. About six weeks ago, I decided to break it off. We had no contact for a few weeks, then decided to reunite. Now things are really good and our commitment is strong. I am even buying a home on the same street as my girlfriend to work on combining our families. Her children seem to feel that I didn't just break up with their mom, I broke up with them. The 4-year-old even asked me why I broke up with him. I didn't know what to say. I don't know what my girlfriend said to the kids. I fear that she showed her anger and hurt. Now she wants the two of us to talk to them about the breakup and our commitment to each other. I question if this is appropriate because we are not married. I said that I would participate, but if the kids ask me why I broke up with their mom I would only say that this is an adult conversation. I believe it will come up. How do you suggest we handle this discussion, and what should be the message to the kids?" P" in P-town DEAR "P": If you left their mother and didn't have any contact with the kids for several weeks, I have news for you -- you did break up with them. You should acknowledge that this would be confusing and sad for them. I agree with the idea of sitting down to reassure them and answer any questions they might have. There is no "commitment" information to share -- other than your friendship and personal commitment toward them. Say, "Recently I needed time away from your mom to sort things out. But I'm completely cuckoo crazy about you kids and I'm always on your side, no matter what."

News

LSAMY07

When kids are part of a breakup

Newsday

Homepage Trending

Newsday Investigates

First day of school on LI dates

Wallet Watch

FeedMe Magazine

NEWSDAY TV SHORTS

Vertical videos

On Thursday an "accidental electrical fire" damaged several areas of the historic Milleridge Inn's main property.

'Accidental electrical fire' damages Milleridge Inn

Cleaning crews were hard at work after a tornado ripped through the Sun and Surf Beach Club in Atlantic Beach Thursday evening. NewsdayTV's Andrew Ehinger reports.

'It was just a whistling sound that came right through'

Jones Beach Theatre concertgoers were hit by a massive storm Thursday night, causing the show to be delayed. Some attendees thought the concert should have been canceled. NewsdayTV's Shari Einhorn reports.

Wild weather raises concert safety concerns at Jones Beach 

Newsday travel reporter Carissa Kellman learns about renting and driving a skiff boat at Ted's Fishing Station in Point Lookout.

Cruise Long Island's shoreline on your own private boat

Since girls flag football became an official sport in New York high schools in the spring of 2023, participation in the sport has increased nearly 70%, NewsdayTV's Jared Valluzzi reports.

Flag football taking over spring sports

Ken Buffa stopped by La Cucina Paisanos in Farmingville to try their "pull apart soul-bowls," which are bread bowls stuffed with pasta.

Trendy Bites: Get stuffed with these Italian 'soul-bowls'

Mandates could include requiring new systems when old septic tanks fail or when houses are sold. NewsdayTV's Virginia Huie reports.

Environmentalists want more mandates to replace Suffolk septic systems as program falls behind

NewsdayTV's Doug Geed shows us the dedication it takes to keep bees at the Hallockville Museum Farm in Riverhead.

Out East: All the buzz at the Hallockville Museum Farm

Newsday travel writer Carissa Kellman visits Onda Bella Cruises for a boat ride from Northport Harbor.

Cruise from Northport Harbor on the Onda Bella

Long-forgotten unpaid traffic infractions in other states are causing a delay in New York State license renewals. NewsdayTV's Shari Einhorn reports.

Outstanding out-of-state tickets holding back NYS license renewals 

<a href="https://www.newsday.com/video/newsdaytv-top-stories">Get more on these and other NewsdayTV stories</a>

Newsday TV

NewsdayTV Top Item

LI's highest-paid CEOs ... LI bars adapt to less drinking ... Flag football on rise ... Out East: Jamesport Farm Brewery

LI's highest-paid CEOs ... LI bars adapt to less drinking ... Flag football on rise

News - megaslot

Newsday has the most up-to-date stories on Long Island & NTC. Join us & stay current with news articles on sports, business, health, technology & more.

Stay logged in.