When parents bully teachers by e-mail

DEAR AMY: I have been teaching high school for 16 years. I have always liked teens and feel they usually get a bad rap. I have always loved teaching. With today's instant communication, however, things have changed. If I have to discipline a student, I have a nasty e-mail from a parent within 15 minutes after the student has texted his or her parents. It is easy to tell the teacher off and never hear his or her side of the issue. It's easy to accuse and belittle the teacher because the parents never have to come face to face with the teacher. Parents who still teach their children to have respect don't act this way, but those are the kids who usually have no discipline issues. I have parents bully me about grades, my assignments and classroom rules - all through e-mail. The administrators in this small community back down to the parents. Every year there is more of this teacher bashing. I'm beginning to hate my job. I would hate to quit, but my colleagues and I can't go on this way. Any suggestions?Tired Teacher

DEAR TEACHER: I shared your issue with administrators from the Montgomery County Central School District, in suburban Washington, D.C. They agree that this is a growing problem.

You need to develop a strategy to deal with these offenses that will establish acceptable boundaries and contact.

I am completely with you in terms of the disrespect and subsequent frustration, but just because someone fires off an e-mail to you doesn't mean you have to respond immediately.

You could set up an automated reply saying, "Because I am in the classroom teaching, I only check my e-mail after school. If you have an emergency, please call the school office." If a parent sends you an aggressive e-mail, you could neutralize the contact by suggesting, "Let's set up a conference to talk about this. What time works best for you?" Forward offensive messages to your school principal.