When you want to say, 'Don't hold my baby!'

DEAR AMY: I have an 11-month-old baby, and it seems that everyone wants to hold her. I understand that babies are adorable at this age, but she doesn't want to be held by anyone except my husband and me. She is cautious around new people. I have heard it all: "You have to let her go sometime," "You have to get her used to other people." I am her mother and feel it is my job to speak for her until she can speak for herself. Some people act hurt and offended when they reach for her and she clings to me. How do I handle saying no politely when they ask to hold her?Reluctant Mother

DEAR RELUCTANT: I had a baby like that. I'd hand her over to an eager party, she'd go crazy and they'd hand her back.

Say: "She's at a fussy stage and needs a lot of time to warm up. Let me turn her toward you so you can get a good look, but I don't want to hand her over right now." You are the primary advocate for your baby. It's your job to make this sort of decision on her behalf.

DEAR AMY: You are way off base with your advice to the 12-year-old girl whose father is pushing her into sports and will not listen to her appeals. Her father, one of these "win-at-all- costs" dads, is just what a teenager doesn't need. She needs her voice to be heard and respected. I'm a dad who raised three children, each one as different as can be and each needing a different kind of understanding and respect. I see many parents pushing their kids, not to be good sportsmen, but to win as if their lives depended on it. She should talk to her mother or teachers and get some support inside her family or from another adult.Concerned Dad

DEAR DAD: Many readers said my advice to this young person didn't go far enough and that she should find another adult to speak to. Thank you.