Wife deserves to know of husband's affairs

DEAR AMY: I have been having a same-sex affair with a married man who has two children.

Now he says the affair is over. He says he is staying in his unhappy marriage because of the luxurious life he has. He told his wife before they got married that he had been with men, and yet they still got married. He has cheated with other men, especially during the time when his wife was pregnant. He asked me to have unprotected sex. I did not, but I worry about his wife's sexual health. He will give her an STD or worse - infect her with HIV. Is it my place to say something?Worried

DEAR WORRIED: You didn't wonder about whether it was "your place" to have an affair with a man you knew was married, but now you're worried about what your place is? Now that you've violated the very basic standard that says it's wrong to have an adulterous affair, you should tell this wife what you know.

If she knows her husband has relationships on the down low, then your notification might not have much impact. If she doesn't know, then she should be told so she can decide what to do concerning her marriage, her family and her sexual health.

DEAR AMY: I am annoyed with your dismissive response to "Frustrated Hostess," who commented on the lack of courtesy on the part of invitees to her child's first birthday party. I've been hosting parties for the past 40 years. These are sought-after invitations. I create special invitations, party mementos, special seating and a theme that creates an atmosphere that lets people forget their problems for a couple of hours. I have put the word out that if you do not respond to my invitation in the time I specify, you are cut from my list.Been ThereDEAR BEEN THERE: Marie Antoinette could not have been more gracious.