Wife's text relationship with male friend is amiss

DEAR AMY: Over the course of three months, my wife of 16 years called a male "friend" more than 2,500 times and sent him more than 6,000 text messages. The calls were made at all times of the day (with three calls being between 2 and 4 a.m. one night when she was spending the night with a girlfriend). The texts occurred all through the day and night. When I confronted her she became very defensive and claimed this was just a really good friend she had known for a long time. She says that there is nothing wrong with what she's doing. My wife now has a device with Internet access that allows her to text without any record of who she is texting. Am I stupid, ignorant or wrong to have suspicions - or correct in thinking this is an affair?

--Worried

DEAR WORRIED: If this is an innocent case of being in touch with an old friend, then you should express your interest in your wife's life by asking her to introduce you to him. Then you should invite him to dinner so that you can get to know the person who is so fascinating that your wife needs to call him repeatedly in the middle of the night and send him thousands of text messages.

You are not stupid, ignorant or wrong to suspect that something is amiss. Your wife is deceiving you and she is being defensive because she knows this is wrong.

DEAR AMY: "Seeks Office Protocol" didn't like that his office celebrated everybody's birthday except for his. On your birthday in my office, the birthday person brings in the treats for colleagues; and if a person doesn't want to celebrate his birthday, then he can choose to quietly ignore it.

--Birthday Bashed

DEAR BASHED: Your solution was much better than my suggestion that "Seeks" should whine cleverly to his colleague. Thank you.